The Solution

I'm beginning to understand what it is about meetings I DON'T like. The sharing of despair, grief, and sadness. In listening to the AA podcasts (really interesting!) I am learning that the X-Anonymous (fill in your fav. addiction) program is a program of RECOVERY. More important than sharing your daily woes, is sharing your daily solutions for how you're not indulging in your addictive behavior. That is why I want to go to meetings. I want to hear what's fucking WORKING for people.
At this point, I am beginning the more intense detox (!) and I'll stay on that for at least two weeks. I know that I need some changes in my bio-chemistry, that things in my body are not running at an optimum rate, and I need to care for my insides. It's great that I am abstaining from sugar and chocolate, and that is not my problem. I want to feel good and in that feeling good (or while I am getting close to feeling good) I want a spiritual experience.
The detox is sort of a food plan in that I have designated things I must do or eat at specific times. I like the structure. Arising, Breakfast, Mid-morning Snack, Lunch, Mid-Afternoon Snack, Dinner, Going to Bed. This keeps things simple for me. Granted, there are many steps which may get complicated, but at first, it'll be good just to have the physical clarity.
It may also involve eating more chicken than I had planned to. 8 oz. a day is a LOT of meat. Perhaps I can do the flax thing or something. But as long as I know that it's helping my liver, I'm all for it. I know that I haven't been the most attentive to my body. I'll pay attention to what I want to pay attention to (usually, it's negative) and then of course I won't feel that much better. But Detoxing is important to me. The Fat Flush Plan seems to be sound. I bought the book and several items that we didn't already have in our diet/house. Cranberry juice (the no-sugar kind) for reducing water retention, lemon juice, flaxseed oil, flaxseeds, Omega-3 eggs, etc. I read in the book about how tissue can be water-logged, and that's exactly how I feel. My skin can be a bit too sensitive and I'm eager to see if detoxing my liver can change things. I'm not interested in weighing myself, because the weight hasn't been as important as the bloated, heavy feeling. That seems to be starting to change as I drink a LOT more water. I pee a lot, which I hate, but I hate even more being dehydrated!

I know I am on the dangerous edge of another "diet." I'm fully clear that while I decide what a good plan is for me, I still need to keep in contact with my Higher Power. I also look forward to working the twelve steps. I've wanted to do something like that for many years, but now I feel I can do it better with some support.