I should write in here more. I still don't have a sponsor and while that's not a big deal two weeks into the program, I am definitely interested in working the steps and I want to talk to someone about things I can do, what I'm going through, what's challenging, etc.
Today there were carbolicious sweets at work and I did not have the sweeter ones, but I did have a scone. It technically has sugar in it, but it did not trigger me into wanting more. I also brought a few snacks of my own but have not eaten them because I'm not hungry!
At first I was mostly concerned with not eating my trigger foods. But now I realize that having a food plan for myself would be really good and so I am interested in exploring that more. The woman who teaches me Nia on Monday nights might be a good resource. Anyway, I am now noticing how often I eat and while I don't eat my trigger foods, I notice that I am not feeling full or satisfied. The next step...
I am happy to be sticking with my abstinance though. It's hard sometimes. I do want to call someone when I see the doughnuts or the candy, but I ask my HP to help out and usually I get back to work or something else that's not food related.
My monthly cycle has lessened in pain and it's more regular (yay!). I find that I have a libido again (hmm, that's an interesting thing, I didn't know it left). I am not so obsessed with food. I still think about it sometimes, but not all the time. It's nice to have some boundaries. I also feel my feelings more, instead of stuffing them down with food. It can scare me to hear my voice raise a little or to feel hurt more frequently, but at least I know I am feeling stuff and it's nice to be able to emote properly.
More things are happening as a result of not eating sugar/chocolate but I can't think of them now. I am feeling less controlling...and sometimes that means my head doesn't hold information. I am letting up and letting go a lot more. :)
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